Myres: An Enigmatic Bow Tie Wearing Scottish Castle

Myres Castle is one of Fife's hidden treasures. It can be found on the outskirts of the small village of Auchtermuchty, the hometown of The Proclaimers and Jimmy Shand!

On the winding country road between Auchtermuchty and Dunshalt, you are likely too busy giving your attention to the road to notice our gated entrance. So, even if you are local to the area it is possible you may not know Myres is here.

You would think it would be an impossibility for a 10-bedroom castle, complete with 44 acres of grounds and outhouses to be discreet, but somehow, Myres manages just that!

From the roadside, the only hint that such a place may exist is the wrought iron gates embellished with the Myres logo. Once through the gates, however, you enter into a magical place full of history, tranquillity and beauty. Delve beneath this serene façade and you will discover that Myres is a hive of activity.

As a family home and luxury wedding venue, all rolled into one, there are always an array of people coming and going including the owners, visitors, staff, guests, tradesmen, suppliers (not to mention the animal contingent of dogs, chickens, Highland cows and hippos!).

On a typical day at Myres you can find all sorts of people doing all sorts of things:

In the office, you will find the lovely Louise in front of a computer screen bigger than the moon, surrounded by countless post-it notes. Louise is your first point of contact at the castle, and has a multitude of important office jobs, which she carries out while hugging an electric heater as she is a cold potato!

Henry can often be found in the office too, tapping away on his laptop and chatting to about a million people on his mobile...he has ants in his pants though and you’re lucky if he sits still for 10 minutes at a time (and when he isn’t talking on his mobile, it's usually lost…how this is possible we are still to figure out?!).

Pop down to the ‘new’ kitchen and you will usually find Amanda, working away on her laptop at the kitchen table. Amanda manages to pull off organised chaos and is super productive. As a testament to her productivity, she is constantly surrounded by lists, notes and folders. She also makes a mean pot of soup!

If you’re after the housekeeping staff, you needn't look too far. Simply keep an eye out for; Anne’s distinctive laugh (which we are sure could be heard from another country never mind the other end of the castle), a radio playing ‘Smooth Radio’ at excessive volume from one of the rooms, a smell of polish/bleach or the dulcet tones of a Dyson at full bore. Our head housekeeper Anne is as enigmatic as Myres itself and buzzes round the Castle at a rate of noughts. Her Assistant Lesley can often be found out of puff after scouring the Castle looking for her!

Lesley wears two hats…not literally of course as that would be a little strange! Doubling up as Assistant Housekeeper and Head of Social Media. Okay, so currently the Social Media team only consists of her to date but everyone loves a title! there is an iPhone permanently attached to her right hand. With her trusty phone, she captures all the antics at Myres and sends them out to the world via pinning, blogging, Facebooking and Instagramming. The other staff love when the camera comes out...honest!

Twice a week the laundry room becomes ironing HQ as the lovely Dierdre powers through a mountain of bedsheets, towels, tablecloths, clothes and handkerchiefs (yes even these get a good pressing!). The disarray of a weekends' worth of wedding laundry is organised with military precision into perfectly pressed stacks. You are braver than us if you get between Dierdre and her super steam iron when she is on a mission!

Outside you will find Matthew pottering away in the garden. ‘Pottering’ is perhaps the wrong term as Matthew tends to acre upon acre of pristine gardens but somehow makes it look effortless. Whether he has the scary looking leaf blower strapped around his waist; is cruising around on his wee red tractor; mowing perfect stripes on the lawn by hand or trimming hedgerows on a scaffold - Matthew is ALWAYS busy.

Euan can often be spotted walking up and down the length of the gardens with his faithful pooch Kiwi in tow. The Barnquee and Applestore are his domain, and keeping everything in perfect order for the weddings is hard graft. As right-hand man to Matthew, the duo carries out endless tasks to keep the grounds ship shape.

On a wedding weekend, Liam and Danielle arrive to join the crew. Young, fit and enthusiastic, they help lighten the load, as well as helping bring down the average age of the staff! Liam passes his shifts working alongside Henry in the kitchens. If you ever wondered, "who places the chorizo so delicately on the breakfast platter?” or “Wow, that’s a fantastically well-washed cooking utensil!” Liam is your man. Danielle has only recently joined the Myre’s team but has slotted right in. Between the housekeeping duo, Lesley and Anne to be precise, so it could be a tight squeeze! Good luck with that Danielle!

Myres is ever evolving. In material terms through renovations, updates and additions as well as its purpose and role as a Castle, home and wedding venue. We hope that everyone who visits Myres leaves with a little piece of Castle magic, unlike the guy who empties the septic tank who leaves with something else altogether!

If Myres were a person, he would likely be a smart gent sporting tartan trousers, a bow tie and wacky socks. Accompanied by a wicked sense of humour and lots and lots of lovely friends...